She’s been… Vlogging?
Aiight… I was low-key vlogging in 2021-2022.
I loved being able to chronicle this art journey and have an extension for storytelling. We all have to admit that the capitalization of Instagram’s algorithm has created a very overthinking pre-posting ritual; we strayed away from the ~ instant ~ aspect towards a perfected and curated product, thus, straying away from the actual appreciation of moment. I also think of how Tumblr had this sense of rawness to its fluidity. I don’t remember the number of “reblogs” or “likes” reflecting the same amount of value we all decided IG likes do (why’d we do that!) But, alas, we all ended up straying from Tumblr altogether.
Screenshots from Tumblr during my first semester of college (2009)
Okay, back to vlogging.
What I initially enjoyed about the storytelling on first-gen Instagram and Tumblr was something I found in YouTube. It was for fun. I simply wanted to share these moments especially at a time I felt my art career was growing and so was my involvement in community-centered spaces.
Of course, there is still curation in video-editing. However, being in my cozy corner of <50 views at a time, I didn’t get in my head too much about the curation. This was for me and I left it in public in a small chance others may enjoy the journey also.
Then one day, a video jumped from the <50 views to 600.
I freaked out.
That’s not even near a microinfluencer level lol But I remember telling Chris, “Oh no! Too much of the internet found me!” So I stopped vlogging altogether. I continued recording things here and there. However, weaving in stories to get these snippets out of my Dropbox just did not happen because — as it often happens with IG — I got into my head. Analysis paralysis.
The video that caused me to stop vlogging cus I got shy 🙃
Now I’m wishing I didn’t get in this habit of muting myself, especially when my heart is saying not to. I should’ve nourished that baby wave of my storytelling journey. I look back at those videos with so much appreciation for past-me taking the time to slow down and capture whatever it was I was creating.
For example, I documented my first large-scale mural! It’s hella precious seeing past-ChiChai geeking out about this opportunity considering that it’s now considered to be a medium-sized mural in the portfolio.
On top of vlogging this mural, I used a portion of the mural’s budget to hire my friend Ray to do a recap video as well. It was my first five-figure budgeted project— I wanted to bring friends up with me!
Aiight. Fast forward to today.
I realized that this continual muting of myself isn't fair to the intentions set into my artwork. I'm a public artist! I intend for these stories to be shared! Whether there's much folx on the receiving end, idk but I’m gonna try to not shy away ♥️
Here’s my debut back to vlogging. I reflect on the ebbs and flows since leaping to this full-time artist life.
